All These Years
by kaci brianna
Summary: Roxas left the people who took him in in an attempt to figure out where he came from. Dystopian-esque AU with eerie parallels to canon / undetermined couples / FF characters to make cameos / Roxas-centric / alternating first and third person POVs


**a/n**: small teaser of my most recent project. well, one of my most recent projects. and by recent i mean i've been working on this for probably over a year now. don't expect super frequent updates for this - like i said: i've been working on it for about a year now and still have about 4000 words. i'm still trying to graduate so writing isn't exactly on the forefront of my mind. that all said, there's a bit of a larger snippet of this up on my tumblr (link on my profile somewhere). just search my fanfiction tag and it's there if you're interested.

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><p>All These Years: Chapter 1<p>

_My first memory is of green eyes. Wide, curious, insect-like, so large compared to the face they were set in – his eyes stared at me from above, and for a few seconds I thought I had died._

_ As he stepped to the side, I could do nothing but blink at him. This boy was tall and gangly, a toothy grin settled comfortably on his features. He looked at me expectantly, a large hand extended in front of him. "I'm Lea," he said unabashedly._

_ I hardly remember anything else from that meeting. I had been four years old, and who could remember anything from before such a striking first impression of bright red and green?_

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><p>Roxas sped down the empty highway, a cigarette limp in his fingers, watching as the roads steadily became smoother and the landscape cleaner. He drove not long but slowly, dragging what would have been an hour long drive into almost two. Dread settled in the bottom of his stomach like magma, churning and boiling unpleasantly, as he neared the place he was said to have been born. His eyes burned with exhaustion, and he now regretted his decision to forgo a night of sleep at the place he had made his home. A place he now had no chance of returning to.<p>

The dingy motel not far from his destination called his name lovingly, and the blonde paused only to count the money in his pocket before he parked in the seemingly abandoned parking lot. He entered sluggishly, spoke shortly to the bored clerk, and trudged his way to the room he was assigned, falling asleep on the blankets without even bothering to take off his shoes and socks.

He woke up only when the sunlight glared at him through the outdated curtains. When the abandoned cell phone inside his pocket chimed, the blonde did not bother to look at the ID. He received it and put the phone to his ear in seconds.

"_Dumbass, they're _gone," the husky voice snapped instantly. "_You're chasing people who forgot you existed and left you to rot, so get yourself back in that ratty car and back where there are people who you _know_ are here for you_."

Seifer stopped and the voice changed to a soft, melodic one – very feminine and motherly, Namine spoke to him: "_Please, Roxas, you know we love you and we're here for you. Ignore Seifer, but he was right about one thing: they're gone. They've been gone for thirteen years. _We_'ve been there for you for all these years. _We_'re your family, Roxas; please come home_."

Her voice cracked at the end and Roxas fought the urge to hang up on the two. Indistinct voices behind theirs, yelling and laughing and arguing, rang after Namine silenced herself, all belonging to a never-ending circle of children who lived in the old, abandoned mansion. He heard Seifer say something on their end, and a gravely, uncaring voice answered, "_He's made up his mind_."

That voice – the one Roxas would recognize to the end of days, the one he would do anything for–was the final straw, and he hung up the call, prying the battery out of the phone only a minute later.

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><p><em>"Rox, you're trying too hard to remember things you clearly don't remember." Axel stopped and glanced at me, his words biting but his tone gentle. "Stop fussing about this and use your head."<em>

_ "Shut it," I told the redhead. My fingers massaged my temple and I squeezed my eyes shut. Brown hair. Mint eyes. A tall boy, blonde and blue eyed. His name, starting with… a V. "I remember them – I'm remembering them."_

_ "You were four," he muttered. "You were four and you were alone in a closet with no one around."_

_ "You think I don't remember?" I rounded on him, a grimace on my face. Axel shook his head. He placed an arm around my shoulder, walking on with no care in the world._

_ Just as my mouth opened to tell Axel off, I _heard_ him. Footsteps pattering on concrete, laughter ricocheting against brick buildings. Then, seconds later, I _saw_ him – blonde windswept hair, blue gem-like eyes wide and shining with amusement._

_ I stopped walking, stopped thinking, probably stopped breathing. I couldn't move my eyes away from the boy, his name popping into my head clear as day because I'd known it since the day I came into the world – Ventus._

_ "Roxas, what are you doing now?" Axel complained, turning around to look at me. He waited for only a second before he realized I was staring at someone, but it was too late – the moment he'd said my name, the blonde man looked as though he'd been slapped, his eyes snapping to mine instinctively and the smile freezing on his lips._

_ More footsteps came running toward us and soon a blue-haired woman was behind him. "Ven," she said, a caring smile on her lips. She paused at the expression on his face. "… Ventus?" she questioned, and her eyes followed his._

_ We stared at each other. For almost a full minute, Axel and I stared across the road at the blue-haired woman and Ventus. Neither party was particularly willing to break the silence. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, and finally, mercifully, Ventus launched himself across the way, though he stopped a foot away from me as though a block were in between us. The woman followed slowly and cautiously behind._

_ "Roxas…?" he questioned._

_ Axel hovered close behind me protectively. Neither of us uttered a word._

_ The woman looked at us. "I'm Aqua, and this is Ventus Fair. Are you Roxas?" she asked me, her eyes wearing a tortured look._

_ I barely managed a nod._

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><p>Once a beautiful getaway from the toils and troubles of the war, Radiant Garden was now far from. Why Roxas was left alone and why Axel had been the one to find him was because of the demolition of the once-beautiful town. The castle, a former sign of glory, love, and peace, had been destroyed, ransacked, pillaged, raided – murderers ran rampant, kidnappers acted wild and carefree. Over the thirteen years of Roxas's absence, the remaining townspeople, few and far between, they were, began rebuilding the town, attempting to restore it to its former glory, but it was a long and daunting process, and they still were very far from completing their task.<p>

Eyes peeled for windswept blonde hair and blue eyes, Roxas ambled across a square of cobblestone, his ears strained for any loosely familiar voices or distant footsteps. He allowed his feet to move of their own accord, stepping forward methodically, one foot in front of the other, while he tried to dig up memories of the town from the deep recesses of his memories.

He followed a path through the village, up a steep set of concrete stairs, and into a demolished hideaway. Curious, Roxas followed the narrow sidewalk, eyes grazing over the graffiti-ed wall and the scattered belongings. He soon found himself at the castle wall, curiosity overcoming his hesitance, walking past the circle, down the steps, through the door. He navigated the maze of walkways with ease, his feet carrying him as if he'd done it every day of his life. His hand grasped the doorknob of a heavy, yellow door just when he heard approaching steps behind him.

Roxas immediately went on the defense, spinning around and clenching his fists, he grounded himself in the stance Seifer taught him when he was only five. Blue eyes immediately locking on the distant form of an older man, Roxas began taking quick notes on the stranger: long hair, easy to pull; busy outfit, easy to use against him; gunblade on his hip – Roxas's optimism began dwindling as the man neared him.

"Hey," he began, squinting his eyes for a better look at the blonde. A look of confusion shrouded his features upon studying the boy. An unmistakable look of recognition flashed over the man's features, his eyes widening as his he forced shut his parted lips. "This is private property. What are you doing here?" he said, channeling a calm over his words.

"I was walking," Roxas stated, slowly easing the strain on his limbs. "There're no laws against that." The man walked closer still, now on the last step of the landing.

He looked closer still, gray eyes calculating as he stared at Roxas's pale face. "Do you need any help?"

With a plan forming in his mind, Roxas relaxed his face completely. "I'm fine."

The man extended an arm. "You're going to have to leave. This area is off-limits to civilians. I could have you arrested for trespassing."

Roxas stood up straight, holding out his wrists. "So arrest me."


End file.
